When the Law Doesn’t Apply to Your Friendly Dog

I have friendly dogs, and I obey the leash law. Tonight I had to physically pin one of my friendly dogs to the ground to keep her from injuring another dog. That may be a confusing statement for many readers, and if it’s confusing for you, I encourage you to read on for how that came to be. It’s not fair to my dog at all, and frankly, I’m quite upset that she had to endure that for me to de-escalate a completely preventable situation. My knees are scraped up, my teeth probably have another fracture in them from bearing down so hard during yet another stressful event, and I can’t keep thinking about how someone else handling this muscular and powerful dog with less know-how may have ended up. Forget fractured teeth; they’d likely be missing teeth at this point.

There’s a leash law where I live. I’m thankful for that law because it’s in place to protect dogs and people. If you’re new here — I’m kind of into dogs. Like a lot. Interestingly enough, people act as though it is not a law that they have to obey. If you speed, you get a speeding ticket and have to pay a fine. Speed enough times, and you can lose your license for a period because it’s breaking the law. You can’t murder people — there’s a law against that, and there are severe consequences to carrying out that act. You can’t rape people — again — aside from just being plain horrible, there are legal consequences because it’s against the law.

But the leash law — nah — that doesn’t apply, right? Like — it’s not a real law or something. The consequences of not obeying the leash law are considerably tragic and devasting, but it’s not the police that is the driving force behind the ramification of irresponsible dog ownership. I’m talking specifically to you “friendly dog” owners who allow your dogs to simply wander around off-leash with terrible recall because “it’s okay, he’s friendly.” It’s not okay. When another dog injures or kills your dog because they’re extremely uncomfortable with your dog running up on them, or your dog gets hit by a car because the squirrel across the street is way sexier than your limited “come command,” that’s on you. If you’re one of these pet parents, please stick with me for the sake of your dog and for the sake of my dog too. If you have a dog, chances are you care about them. If you’re reading this far — chances are you really care about them, so please take this into thoughtful consideration.

I often hear of “friendly” dog owners basically shaming friends or family members (or random people on the street that their off-leash dog essentially assaults) for having a dog that isn’t friendly with everyone. As if the pet parent is at fault for somehow molding and controlling what their dog’s personality budded into. As if the pet parent wanted a dog that was considered difficult or unfriendly. No one sets out (except dogfighters, and I’m guessing your friends or suburbian neighbors aren’t in that category) to have a dog that dislikes others. Chances are that stresses them out greatly to have a dog that is high maintenance and management. Dogs are individual beings with their own emotions; they are not a hunk of inanimate clay that we shape however we want. If you are thinking of that cliche thought right now of “it’s all in how you raise them,” allow me to introduce you to genetics.

“The term ‘‘social maturity’’ is used to describe the neurodevelopmental stage characterized by an increase in neuronal modification. It is a common time for behavioral problems to either develop or progress and for clients to notice behavioral changes.” ~AAHA

At around two years of age, dogs go through their last social maturation phase where what’s written in their DNA and hasn’t surfaced prior can surface and sometimes plays a huge role in how that dog is going to shape up from a personality perspective moving forward. You can socialize a puppy perfectly; they can come from the best stock of well-bred dogs, they can be super friendly to all of the dogs they do interact with, and then…that maturation phase hits, and now they start aggressing with dogs that they had been so friendly with prior. This is a real thing, and this is not caused by a bad pet parent. This is genetics. Dogs are a product of their environment and their genetics. The next time you think about passing judgment on a pet parent because their dog is upset by your dog not respecting their boundaries, remember this and spare them your dirty looks or harsh words. Can you mess up puppyhood and create a difficult dog that’s unfriendly? Sure you can. But guess what — even those dogs where pet parents “messed up” still have the same right to walk in public in a controlled manner as you do — with your dog in a controlled manner. They also have the right to try and provide a safe environment for their dog while out on walks if their dog is extremely afraid of other dogs.

An unfriendly dog is also protected by leash laws, meaning if your “friendly” dog runs up on an unfriendly dog and a fight ensues, causing damage or death to your dog, that dog owner will not be held accountable — you will — because you’re breaking the law.

My dog helping to train and socialize a service dog recruit

People who own dogs that don’t get along well with other dogs are often under a constant state of stress no matter how well their dog is trained since they know that people around them act irresponsibly, and that keeps them on high alert. It’s exhausting for them, and while you may enjoy a casual walk with your dog that doesn’t exhibit fear of other dogs, a “casual” walk for a dog owner with a scared dog can be incredibly draining.

Most dogs are dog-selective, meaning that they don’t get along with everyone, they have a preference for dog friends, and they aren’t all-dog aggressive. Rarer are the dogs that love all dogs and the dogs that are aggressive to all dogs. If your dog is off-leash and allowed to introduce themselves to every other dog, whether other dogs want to be introduced to your dog or not, chances are, they are going to have an altercation at some point. As an emergency vet nurse for many years treating trauma patients from dog fights and dogs that are hit by cars off-leash, trust me when I tell you this — it’s likely to happen someday, and it’s not worth losing your best friend. I’ve been a shoulder to cry on for more pet parents than I can count that have been there.

I’m sure you’re also wondering — what about trainers’ dogs and other dogs that are off-leash but staying with their person where leash laws are in effect? For most leash laws that I am familiar with, being under voice control is also considered to be in compliance with the leash law. The idea is that if their dog is off in the distance and they call the dog back, the dog always returns to them whether other distractions (dogs, people, animals, etc.) are present or not. They have full control over the dog, whether a leash is attached or not. This is a small portion of the population. If you call your dog once and it does not come to you, your dog is not an off-leash dog in compliance with the leash law (and you have a new fun goal to set with training your dog- yay!).

My friendly dog likes slow introductions — she’s like any other girl who wants to have dinner with you a few times and get to know you before you think you’re taking her home. My friendly dog paid the price for someone not believing that leash laws pertained to them. Tonight, my friendly dog got manhandled by a person she is supposed to trust to interrupt an altercation. An altercation that would have been extremely ugly because we were approached by an off-leash dog that was not reading her very obvious communication that she did not want him in her space. I’m actually proud of how long she held it together in a heel, offering me focus when I asked and moving on away from the other dog. I can’t expect her not to become greatly offended when I’m asking the owner to get control of their dog and she’s asking that dog to stay back, and neither of them is obliging. I don’t blame her a bit for her reaction to not having her boundaries respected. But, in order to protect the friendly old dog with poor communication skills and an irresponsible owner, when my dog simply couldn’t take it anymore, she’s the one that got pinned. At the same time, I waited for the old dog’s owner to meander over and get control of his dog because she was the one that would have caused the most damage. While she wouldn’t have been held accountable by law if something happened, I wanted to protect the old dog too. I love dogs, and I don’t want any of them to get hurt.

Humans have boundaries, and that’s fairly simple for other humans to understand most of the time. Please understand that dogs have boundaries too. Boundaries are not explicit to humans, and dogs have only so many ways to communicate their discomfort across species. We can’t keep blaming dogs for their predictable reactions when humans refuse to respect their boundaries or ensure that their friendly dogs are also respecting the boundaries of other dogs.

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Originally posted on Medium December 5, 2021